Web of Desires
My limbs are tangled in a web of strings, most from my past, some from my present. Desire. I want to write lines like I have sought pure splendor and She caught my star. But they’ve already been written by Mike Doughty (in German, nonetheless). I want intense talent. I want an intense life. I want to bring a dozen books home from the library, toss them on my little girl bed with its lavender bedspread, and decide which to read next. I want to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl. I want to meet Matt Wilson, wordsmith extraordinaire of the 1990s alternative band Trip Shakespeare. I want to stand on the beach with my feet buried in the sand. I want to run out to an ice cream truck, clutching quarters, and return with a Dreamsicle in my hand. I want to get a pixie haircut, become a suicide girl, kiss my dog. I want to go back in time, to be young for one more night. I want to ice skate in the woods and then sit by a fire. I want to be free and live without warning, unfettered and alive.
posted by Lucia @ 6:48 PM
15 Comments:
Seems to me, that you have all of those things, in spades.
I like your list. I love your list. I want to have written that list, but you just did.
i love your list.
when i was a little girl, maybe 11 or so, i was walking down the street eating a snocone. a car pulled up and inside were a man and woman, and the woman said "can i have a bite of your snocone?", and dumbfounded, i handed it over.
and then i thought about her for years..the freedom in that one moment. i wanted to be her.
Nice list. The only thing that stands between you and any of those objectives is the self-imposed restraint of maturity....abandon it for a moment. you will thank yourself later.
I believe you can do all of those things. You have the maturity and wisdom to do it right. :)
Peace,
~Chani
Those sound great, and so does the life we read about here.
ps. If you become a Suicide Girl, let us know!!!!!
Loved your list. Wish I could do something similar too. :)
That sounds suspiciously like a birthday list. Happy, happy?
Funny, sometimes I visit your blog and think how much I want YOUR life. :-) I guess there's always something just beyond our reach, even when our life is nearly perfect.
I once preached a "sermon" (actually, I never call them sermons when I deliver them, because I just talk about my thoughts and don't claim to be any source of wisdom or great understanding) about the importance and value in desire. Without desire, life would be bland and we would never have the beauty, art, inventions, and discoveries that make life interesting.
Think how boring life would be if we didn't want more than what we already have...
I don't see why you cannot do and have all those things you just mentioned. And like flutter said, I think you already have most of them! But I know what you mean about the yen to be young and "free" again. The ice skating in the woods image made me feel that too...
(i said this at potsblog, but wat to make sure you see it Lucia)
I'm serious, Lucia, sometimes you write such a densely layered piece, how can a person say anything? you have to sit back and think awhile
You just described the longing in my heart - to a preciseness. That feeling of having and enjoying but wanting to learn to fly.
Hell, yes!
Oh, and jen, I read what you described about the woman asking for your snocone, and somehow, I can't help but flip the camera angle to the inside of the car, and then follow the story as it appears on Lifetime and the man drives her to a hospital afterward where she checks in for a bit of a rest cure.
Lucia, you can do almost all these things. Seriously. Except for the whole time travel bit your list is doable. I hope you give it a go.
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